San francisco dating scene straight women
NY, as some of us are native Californians and some relocated from NY.
The heated debate about the quality of guys in the two cities led to an interesting experiment proposal: To sign up for an online dating site in both NY & SF with the same exact profile and compare the guys that approached us. From the 12 messages that I received in just 2 days, I noticed a trend between them all. Let me buy you a drink.” The messages were blunt and straight to the point; it was as if all these guys were pressed for time!
(We selfishly didn’t want to “experiment” with our own members so signed up for another site which shall remain anonymous). They weren’t looking to make a small talk with me through online chat – they wanted to meet me and see for themselves what kind of person I am.
Very reflective of the NYC culture: fast-paced, direct, and upfront. From the 16 messages I received, what I experienced was long chats on Saturday and Sunday nights about topics ranging from school to work to music. Surprisingly enough, I found myself preferring NYC’s style.
SF’s Chinatown, which the racial dot map and Wikipedia point to as to the upper right of the word “San Francisco,” is actually far more gender-neutral than similar immigrant communities we found in NYC. Right over the bay, Oakland mixes it up a bit while Berkeley is a nice little gender melting pot.
Again, race might play an issue here – last time we found that African-American communities seemed to have a higher percentage of single women, and the splits might be helped along by racial divides (Oakland [female] is more black, while Alameda [male] is more white/Asian). Sunnyvale, San Jose and Mountain View come up about even between single men and single women, while San Mateo is piles upon piles of single men and Fremont looks as blue as a perfect day at the seashore.
Use the age range sliders to get it to an area that’s meaningful to you, I’ve started it off at 20-34. The only outpost with an excess of single women in San Francisco is Pacific Heights, although if you believed Wikipedia’s list of Notable Residents it’d be 80% male (cough).
Whether or not they were doing this because they wanted to get to know me or they were just timid, I guess I’ll never know. I thought I would prefer the more relaxed appeal that SF had to offer, but there was something in the straightforward, “I-don’t-have-time-for-small-talk” attitude that I found so refreshing.
What I do know is that these guys were definitely not the “let’s meet up now and figure out who we are later” type; these guys wanted to get to know me before they made their decision to ask me out. As a Bay Area native, I’ve grown accustomed to a slower environment of dating and getting to know someone. My heart belongs to the Bay Area, but I have to admit: I much prefer the no-bullshit approach that NYC has to offer.
San Francisco in many ways is a dream city for single men.
The downside of dating in San Francisco is its diversity and not possessing the mindset and skillset to attract women from diverse backgrounds.