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And yes, the fear of getting hurt again really has the exact same basis as losing a pet and thinking of never getting another one again. If only we could find the kind of love that doesn’t hurt, we would open our hearts. A life where you’re so scared to trust again, you never can just... When we don’t open up our hearts, when we avoid or numb the hurt, we numb everything good that goes along with the hurt. We can’t choose to numb the bad shit and also not numb the good shit. Then after a year, send me an email, and let me know about your happiness levels.
The thing is, this instinct of self-preservation, though needed for survival, can prevent us from ever living an authentic, happy life. But even if you tried, you won’t be able to find that kind of love. Because our emotions absolutely do not work that way. Because to love means that you have to be vulnerable. And that terrifies us.“What if I open my heart up and I get hurt again? Right now, in asking how to stop loving, you’re also asking how to numb out all the GOOD shit that happened in your life. I’ll even give you a lollipop and everything (yes I know, I’m being a bit of an ass here). Vulnerability is about being able to dive into things without worrying about how it will turn out.
Because that’s how we protect ourselves after going through a hurtful situation. I know it’s scary, I know it’s so so SO scary to put yourself out there, not know what’s going to happen or if the next relationship will be the one that’ll stick with you for life. But if you DO decide to open up your heart again, to be vulnerable, that means that YOU know that whatever happens, YOU’RE going to be OK.
I set up this site after grappling with my own episode of limerence.And since then, this website and forum has expanded to cover more than just healing from limerence.It has evolved into helping others understand more about themselves and relationships.She was actively running around, stuffing her cheeks with sunflowers seeds and rolling around in her sand bath. Of course you will want to get another pet hamster again."Well, funnily enough, that is just what you’re doing right now to yourself, except with regards to your love life. As I buried her, I thought to myself:“I will never have another pet hamster ever again."You might say: “That’s silly, Cherlyn.