Parent dating rules for teens
If you’re a parent of a teenager, it undoubtedly does.
Your teen comes home from school one day, starry-eyed and completely distracted. Bouchey and Wyndal Furman concluded that "adolescents who are involved with a romantic partner at a young age have higher rates of alcohol and drug use, delinquency, and behavioral problems, as well as lower levels of academic achievement." In addition to these consequences, Sarah Coyne, a Brigham Young University professor who studies adolescents, says that teens who date before sixteen are generally less imaginative and more often become victims of relationship abuse.
This isn't necessarily bad, but it is difficult for parents to accept because they still see the adolescent as a child.
This same study revealed that conflict between parents and adolescents greatly increases when teens start dating--simply because parents have a difficult time adjusting to the teen's new role and priorities outside the family boundaries.
"It is most important to have a good relationship with your teenager.
You may battle about some things, but make sure you maintain that good relationship." She comments on the importance of picking your battles--that parents shouldn't argue with their children about every little thing in their children's lives, because that weakens the relationship.
Other parents have said that their teen can only go on group dates.
Even if you want to be supportive of your child's feelings, remember that you are still the parent. " and "Here are some rules that we, as your parents, feel are important." Helping them choose their own (reasonable) dating rules means that they will take those guidelines seriously."If parents tend to act like 'it's my way or the highway,' teens will usually rebel," says Coyne.
Surprisingly, research has shown that too much control over teens can actually increase the likelihood of sexual behavior instead of lowering it.
Coyne suggests parents be open with their teens and explain the physical, spiritual, and emotional benefits of waiting until after marriage for sexual intimacy; this understanding of the principles behind the Church's standards can be very beneficial.
If parents accept that their child is progressing and developing a different role in life, they can avoid some of these conflicts. [Parents] shouldn't be afraid to make rules and discuss them with their teen."Set aside a time to talk with your child.
How should parents react to this newfound independence? "In general, you want to be supportive of your child and respectful of their wishes." One of the best things that parents can do to support their child is to make a sincere attempt to meet and form a relationship with their teen's boyfriend or girlfriend. Make sure he or she knows that discussing the relationship is important.