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“The men who find women in their 40s attractive often are a little older, and those women don’t want those men, and the younger women don’t want the 40-year-old men.”As a matchmaker and relationship expert, Adams-Roberts has built a career on helping people explore and question who they are attracted to.One of her methods: informing singles that lists of expectations should be thrown out in favor of blueprints with preferences and values that are negotiable and non-negotiable.Black women feel the need to turn to online dating because most have no relationship luck in real life, especially with black men.Some black men are constantly expressing how much they dislike black women.While some of my black female friends are free and sexually liberated, others are waiting until marriage to engage in sex.Regardless of their personal choices of how they choose to live their life, men are constantly approaching them at parties and assuming that they are only willing to have sex.
Aesha Adams-Roberts has heard all of these concerns in dealing with her clients, mostly professional black women.“It feels like men in their 40s and women in their 40s have a hard time connecting with each other and finding each other,” she said. Taking the risk of finding someone who is a perfect match can be hard and stressful.Over 50 percent of people turn to dating apps in order to boost their relationship lives, or lack thereof, according to Statista. I let one man take my 20s, another man take my 30s, so I think that I have to be a little bit strategic in my 40s.” Bridgette Gordon, 48, of Lansing, thinks traditional courting has been replaced with “a la carte” online dating. “Other races date for six or seven months, and then they get married. I find, in the black community, a man will date you for 10-15 years and never marry you.