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I'm not great at explaining since I don't even know my own culture super well but the best I can explain it is like this: I know us Americans are very 50/50, I do the laundry, you should sweep or do the dishes.

I took the kids to school, you should pick them up.

As a partner, it is decidedly not your place to psychoanalyze your boyfriend, or even point out these uncomfortable things. The kitchen is where the women gather and the easiest way to get plugged in and to belong is to integrate yourself with them.

It is however important to be there and support him, whether that be helping him laugh when he is annoyed because the older generation gives you both a dirty look or to help him find the words to explain to his parents that y’all aren’t going to have a dozen children or help him find the courage to do something he desperately wants but will disappoint his family. You can ask to help with the food prep but that requires instructions and supervision.

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Please like and share our page 'hmong singles' on Facebook as well. If you make it a point to work on the dishes without being asked you will win major brownie points with the extended family.Have fun, learn, be curious and kind, ask questions. Doing chores without being asked will be a plus, it'll show you know how to do work since all Hmong wives are expected to be chore machines.If you’re near a Hmong population I guarantee your local library will have a copy. Whenever you’re being excluded or you run into a wall, don’t assume it’s the family being mean.For some good food introductions get Cooking From The Heart. I don’t think my father in law really accepted me until I gave him his first grandson...took over six years of me being with his son to reach that point. Assume there is a misunderstanding, different expectations, or just ignorance on both sides.

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