Dating online women to a man
I’ve had guys get into one-upping matches with me on dates. Bonos: Why do men have trouble committing to women who seem to be the whole package, or as you call them: the End Goal?
Birch: Women who are “End Goals” are those who really have their lives together; it might be the partnership that these men ultimately want, but they’re just not there yet, so they can’t commit.
Lisa Bonos: How did you decide that this was the question you wanted to interrogate?
Jenna Birch: There’s a lot of survey data that said men were really into these smart career women.
And no matter how much men say they want an equal partner, a woman who’s smart and independent, studies find that such women often make men feel emasculated or inferior.
They have that second paycheck; they’re intellectually in the same plane and they are similarly educated.The vast majority put being a provider and career success at the top for men.Women are showing that we can be that equal provider. There’s studies on how dads interact with their daughters with a lot of complex emotional language, and it helps them be well-rounded; whereas we talk to boys about achievements and being at the top and pride.That was a big guiding question from the beginning.And then Lora Park had research that came out in 2015 that showed psychological distance matters a lot. Birch: “Psychological distance” has to do with when you’re thinking about something as an abstract concept.