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The less he actually knows about her, the more he can fill in the gaps with his own fantasy.
It’s an illusion, but illusions can have tremendous power. MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You The solution here and the first step to getting out of the friend zone in general: Let’s keep talking about the damaged goods scenario though and why it can be a major trap if you don’t catch yourself. You yourself have been a victim to your own fantasies and dreams about what you two could be together.
Sure, maybe you weren’t drawing unicorns and rainbows with his name surrounded by hearts in your notebook, but you are definitely a strong believer that you’re “meant to be together.” As romantic as all that sounds, it actually damages your chances for success in actually starting something.
Let’s look at why: To put it quite plainly, you want something that simply is not reality.
Letting go and just being friends can be something you just do silently within yourself. What I mean is don’t talk like you’re just friends, but then in your mind plan your wedding day and the love story that led to it.
It can actually be one of the greatest lessons to learn to truly let a crush go and accept just being friends. And it also gives the other person the psychological “space” to possibly grow feelings for you at some point down the line. When I finally spilled my guts about my feelings for her, she said she just didn’t have “those kind of feelings” for me. MORE: How to Get Over a Guy That Doesn’t Like You It might be tough, but if you add gravity to the situation or romanticize it or dramatize it, it will be 100 times tougher.She attracted him and in some way made it clear (usually without a word) that if he wants her, he needs to act now or lose his shot. hint) 2) He knows he can put up a front and the new girl will buy it… But with you, you Sometimes a guy just wants a vacation from himself and his problems.It’s amazing how quickly a man will get his act together when he believes he might lose his shot at something. Sure, these arrangements usually end up melting down (maybe in a week, a month or a year), but during that time he gets to postpone dealing with his issues and can numb his pain with a simple girl who doesn’t unearth any skeletons … 3) The new girl had the advantage of a fresh “mystique” – that is, he doesn’t know anything about her and she put up a dazzling image that completely seduced him. It happens to guys and it happens to girls and oftentimes, it can cause more heartbreak than an actual breakup. Well maybe one (or all) of these scenarios apply to your situation. He’s cute, he’s funny, and when he’s around you, he completely let’s his guard down. and you know exactly what the other person is thinking. He’s the only guy that you’ve ever felt truly understands you and with whom you can truly be yourself. you can talk for hours or even just be with each other in silence…